Givers need to set Limits because Takers rarely do.
Rachel Wolchin
Lack of Boundaries
Some people struggle to maintain boundaries and that too firm Healthy boundaries.
They feel that if they don't give in to people asking, they might end up alone as it will offend others around them. People pleasers are themselves the first ones to cross the boundaries established by them.
They struggle to be true to Oneself
These people struggle to maintain meaningful relationships, specifically with the one they have with themselves. Their sense of principles, morals, goals, ethics, and opinions seem to be dominated by perceptions of others due to which they keep sabotaging a part of their personality.
They seek Validation
They seek the Validation of others, They are the ones who want to fit in and agree with things as everyone is agreeing and do things as everyone is doing even if it feels wrong to do them. They want to be the cool and acceptable one. They struggle with self-esteem the most as they truly find it difficult in terms of what they want from themselves. They struggle with self-validation and often make themselves experience negative self-validation.
Low Self Confidence and Self Worth surfaces
They might seem to look strong and act like they know what they are doing or talking but from inside they struggle with self-confidence issues. Anxiety gives them a hard time. Their creativity, productivity, and beliefs are constantly doubted and questioned by themselves. If you will mock such people they will give in and believe that they are not worth it.
They have Traumas and Wounds related to Guilt, Trust, and Abandonment.
People Pleaser feel that if they put their needs and comforts over others then it will hurt them and people will find them selfish, self-centered, or rude.
Such behaviors are consequences of competitive parents always wanting their kids to be in good books even if it means obeying things, people, and situations that might be unfair, or not their type typically. They don't know how to say 'No' to anything even if it makes their needs go under discomforts. Parents who also compare their kids to others make such wounded children think that if they act, live, or be on those specific types of lists, then they will be loved and appreciated and this is where confidence and self-worth issues start building up. The child learns that " I am not enough, capable or bright " as their parents never appreciated them so there is something wrong with them. Parents often behave in such a way to get good results out of their children but they don't realize the damages they have instilled deeply within their child.
You can truly never make anyone and everyone Happy! You need to put confidence in yourself because you should at least be the one to not mock yourself first as there are people to do that for you. If you do well in life people will love you but there will still be few or many who will like you for who you are as sadistic people have a habit of projecting their insecurities onto others. Avoid self-pitying instead show some love and compassion to yourself and your needs as "You" are important. Pat yourself on your back after a hard working long day, encourage and believe that you can and so you will...
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